Beauty Trends I Loathe

The following is a short list of beauty-related trends I wish would just disappear.

1. Ombre everything. Ombre cake: cute. Nails: fantastic. Dress: so gorgeous. Ombre hair that fades from lime green to pink, meeting at a nice puke-like color: please, no.
2. Bad contouring. The idea is to enhance your natural features. If you're going for an edgy high-fashion look, be my guest. Otherwise, drop the war-paint look please.
3. The idea that we must be tan. Pale skin is also gorgeous. Fair, warm, tan, olive, copper, dark - whatever your skin color, your skin will look gorgeous if you take good care of it.
4. These nails. how do you function? don't you injure people?!
   
   
   
   
5. itty-bitty skinny thighs. I mean there's nothing wrong with skinny legs- thigh high stockings stay in place and you probably look better in skinny jeans, but stop demeaning big thighs; there's nothing wrong with being muscular or curvy either.
6. Body Wrapping. Stop doing this to yourself just so you can smush yourself in 1/2 an inch. 
7. This gross hair look. You look like you have a pointy head. Why?
8. Articles entitled "beauty tricks to look more awake". Instead of spending an hour more on your makeup routine, you could try sleeping in an hour. Just a thought.
9. "Natural eyeshadow" tutorials that don't look at all natural. Not saying it's not pretty, but if I want to look like I'm not wearing much makeup, this isn't what I'm going to go with.